Jewish Singles Blog

So i saw Sex & The City this week end and absolutely loved, loved, loved it!  I’m going to take a break from writing about myself this week, and instead dedicate this blog to the lovely ladies of Sex & the City…

Love Lessons from Sex & The City

 In their six years on the air, the SATC chicks endured the good, the bad, and the totally bizarre when it came to dating. Cosmo studied some of their most memorable relationships to find out what we could learn from the fabulous foursome.

 Case study: Miranda and Steve
When Miranda met bartender Steve Brady, she was skeptical as usual. He was nice (and easy on the eyes) but clearly not relationship material. Not surprisingly, their divergent careers created problems: conflicting schedules, fights about money, and different outlooks on life. Miranda could have deleted his number from her BlackBerry, but ultimately, his laid-back personality and devotion won her over. The unlikely pair started a family and eventually tied the knot.
Lesson #1: Date against your type.

Case study: Carrie and Aidan
Hot furniture designer Aidan was everything Carrie thought she wanted in a man: emotionally available, honest, and ready to commit. Aidan wanted Carrie to meet his parents, have the keys to his apartment, and eventually be his wife. She attempted to change by quitting smoking (and nixing her addiction to Mr. Big), giving country life a shot, and wearing his engagement ring around her neck. But no matter how hard Carrie tried, she couldn’t commit to any of it. While Aidan seemed perfect on paper, he wasn’t the ideal guy for Carrie.
Lesson #2: Don’t change for a man, no matter what.

Case study: Charlotte and Trey
An optimist with a very romantic view of love,

Charlotte believed her dreams had come true when she was literally rescued by the single, wealthy, and handsome Dr. Trey MacDougal. Despite some major red flags — a lackluster marriage proposal, a meddling mother-in-law, and a sexless honeymoon —

Charlotte was determined to make the relationship work. Although she gave it her all, their union still failed.
Lesson #3: Never ignore the warning signs that tell you a relationship isn’t working.

Case study: Carrie and Berger
Witty writer Jack Berger had these famous last words for Carrie, written on a Post-it note: “I’m sorry, I can’t. Don’t hate me.” After the abrupt end to their short, rocky relationship, Carrie vowed to spend the same amount of time getting over her breakup as Berger had spent ending it. If only it were that easy. Though Carrie managed to avoid him, she ended up melting down in front of his friends, which undoubtedly got back to him. She learned that it’s better to face the music (or in her case, the Post-it note) and get it over with.
Lesson #4: As painful as breakups can be, you have to mourn before moving on.

Case study: Samantha and Smith
Samantha’s dating philosophy: “I’m a trysexual. I’ll try anything once.” Her only rule was to never fall in love. She was so set in her man-eating ways that when she scouted and seduced a gorgeous waiter at a raw food restaurant, she didn’t even ask his name. She encouraged the struggling young actor to play out his sexual fantasies and took him under her wing professionally, changing his name to Smith Jerrod and making him the Absolut Hunk. Somewhere between sex and stardom, Samantha fell in love and eventually confessed to Smith, “You’ve meant more to me than any man I have ever known.”
Lesson #5: Dare to fall in love.

Case study: Carrie and Mr. Big
Sure, Carrie might have done some of the chasing, but in the end it was Mr. Big who showed up at her door the day she left New York City for

Paris. Angry that his timing was always off, she screamed, “Forget you know my number! In fact, forget you know my name!” But he didn’t give up. He called to tell her he loved her, and fortunately,

Charlotte was there to answer his desperate call. The next day, he met the ladies for brunch and admitted, “You’re the loves of her life, and a guy would be lucky to come in fourth.” With their blessing, Mr. Big went to

Paris to get “their” girl.
Lesson #6: Let him chase you.

Case study: Carrie
The eternal single girl had her share of romances, chronicled in her weekly column, but the truest love story is the one she wrote for herself. Bad luck and messy breakups were de rigueur in Carrie’s life. By surviving the pitfalls — a Manolo-mugging, a computer crash, and a very embarrassing fashion fall — Carrie gained the confidence and strength to continue her search for true love. “The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself,” she said. “And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
Lesson #7: Be fearlessly single.

Condo Update- Ditched my mortgage broker and switched to someone who is professional and who promises to get the deal done in the next two weeks!  Fingers crossed.  And on the dating front…

Well, he called.  I should have known after our first conversation that it wouldn’t go anywhere.  Come to think of it, I DID know.  I had him pegged pretty quickly.  As soon as he said that the reason he’s still single at 42 is because he is “finicky,” well, I heard all I needed to hear.  I knew at that moment that he is like the other 40-somethings who I’ve dated before—never married, overly picky, with unrealistic expectations.  But, of course, I still met him anyway…simply because “you never know.”  We had brunch together and it was nothing to write home about.  Pleasant conversation, good food, but we definitely were not a match.  I found him to be somewhat boring, stiff/uptight, and not a very good listener (he asked me the same question on more than one occasion.)  On the OFF chance that he happens to be reading this (highly unlikely, as he made it VERY clear that we are from different eras and he isn’t computer savvy) I mean no harm…just being honest.  Chalk it up to another experience and another date!

Till next time,

Robin 

 

Condo update- Still waiting……

 

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Weekend!  Aside from the gloomy weather, mine was cool.  I had a really funny thing happen, actually.  Went to dinner with my parents and ended up meeting this family who was sitting next to us.  My dad was goo-goo gaa- gaa over the lady’s adorable baby.  It’s his way of saying “Robin, when are you gonna make me a grandfather?”  Anyway, we all got to talking, and turns out they live one block away from me and both of our brothers have the same name, same spelling.  So, this woman (I’ll call her “M”) decides that she’d like to set me up with her brother, who, coincidentally also lives about a block away from me.  Their parents, the baby’s grandparents, (have I confused everyone yet??) were also eating dinner with “M.”  They all joked that my parents and I just met my future in-laws   Of course, the brother, “A”, who was not present at the time, is handsome, successful and Jewish.  Of course, he really wants to meet someone and get married and have kids.  Of COURSE, my poor naïve father had a “weird feeling” that this could be “it.”  Now, me, on the other hand…call me jaded, pessimistic or just plain REALISTIC, but I’m not holding my breath that I’ll hear from him.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to!  His family was awesome, very sweet and warm and the way they described him sounded great.  I was flattered that his sister, a complete stranger, thought enough of me to want to set us up…especially because I definitely wasn’t looking my best in my velour sweat suit, hair in a pony tail and zero make-up!  But I told her that I clean up well J  She didn’t seem too concerned.   So, we exchanged numbers and that was that!  Whatever happens, they seemed like a lovely family and if it’s meant to be, I’ll hear from him.  And if it’s not, I won’t!  But I’d sure like to J

 

Till next time,

 

Robin

Condo update: Nada to report ):I read this somewhere and it really struck a chord with me because, often times, I have a tough time just “letting go.”Enjoy!There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. Don’t try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person. It just means that their part in your story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over, so that you don’t keep trying to “raise the dead.” You’ve got to know when it’s dead. You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful. It’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever I’m meant to have, it will come to me.  And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go! If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you, and was never intended for your life, then you need to … Let it go! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains … Let it go! If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth … Let it go! If someone has angered you… Let it go! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge … Let it go! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction … Let it go! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents … Let it go! If you have a bad attitude … Let it go! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better … Let it go!  If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship … Let it go! If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves … Let it go! If you’re feeling depressed and stressed … Let it go!  Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. Let it go! Get right or get left. Think about it, and then … Let it go!  

Condo update: Still waiting on loan approval.  Grrrr… ):

 

I feel like writing about something that has always baffled me.  And that something is the mystery of why guys from my past ALWAYS resurface.  I don’t know if it’s just me or if this happens to everyone, but sometimes I feel like I’m wearing a huge sign that says “Hi, if you dated me, liked me, hurt me, or hooked up with me at ANY point in the past 10 years, PLEASE come sniffin’ around like a dog to see “how I am” or to “say hi” or my favorite one, “to TRY again.”  I mean, things END for a reason, right?  But I seem to be a magnet for the guys who always “pop up” at the most perfect moment.  You know, that moment when you feel at peace, happy…when you’re looking ahead to your future, NOT backwards in the past.  I understand we all get lonely and have our weak moments…the moments when we realize we made a mistake, that we let the right person go, etc.  I just wish that it wouldn’t take losing the person to make that clear.  And if you’re going to resurface and ask for another chance, PLEASE be ready to put your money where your mouth is!  Right?  Right!  I also seem to be a magnet for the “all talk, no action guys.”  To me, one of the biggest turn-ons is a man with FOLLOW-THROUGH. Too many flakes in this town. 

 

Anyhoo, thanks for listening to my rant. 

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.  Especially mine J

 

Till Next Time,

 

Robin

So, I’m in the process of buying my first condo.  Very Stressful, yet, very exciting.  It’s not something I ever thought I’d be doing on my own, but alas…..

 

So far, it’s been a pretty painless process, aside from dealing with my mortgage broker.  He couldn’t be more unprofessional if he tried.  The dude has zero bedside manner, barely returns phone calls and emails and is downright rude.  Why have I stayed with him, you ask?  Well, he claims he can get me this great loan, low interest rate etc.  Plus, my father has done business with him before and wanted me to give him a chance.  So, I agreed, but it hasn’t been easy.  I should know by Tuesday if the loan was approved and if I can move forward in this loooong process.  Fingers crossed!

 

Now a little bit about my adorable condo.  It had a bunch of upgrades done, which include: hard wood floors, crown molding, recessed lighting, new paint job and a fireplace!  But what I’m most excited about is the walk-in closet.  For the past four years, I’ve had to make due with a closet the size of a phone booth.  So, hey, I’m moving up in the world!  The condo is move-in ready, so now I just need to get my loan approved and close escrow so I can move in.  It’s still crazy to me that I’m 34 and buying my first condo on my own, rather than 34 and married with two kids.  But, as I’m sure you will all agree, life usually doesn’t go the way we plan.  For whatever reason, THIS is exactly where I’m supposed to be!  J

 

Till Next Time,

 

Robin