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Honesty, Dating, and Your Real Age

Honesty is something that is always lacking in relationships. Why start with a lie?

Relationships usually fall apart on account of one thing: lack of honesty. It is at the base of any conflict. Cheating? Lack of honesty. Lying about small things like where you got that new bracelet? Lack of honesty (obviously). Not communicating your feelings to your significant other? Lack of honesty.

I think it’s pretty clear that at the heart of every great relationship there is a healthy amount of honesty. I say “healthy amount” because we all know how great a few white lies are, for example “you look great!’ or “this dinner is so delicious” can seriously help the strength of a relationship. There is definitely a line between white lies and down-right lies, and this line is where trust can be broken.

Trust is a solid foundation for any relationship, and it is most often established by honesty. This seems like a pretty obvious assumption.  So if this is so obvious, why do so many people start off a new relationship with a lie? This lie could be anything from where you went to college, to how much money you make, to the most common lie: your age.

In the world of online dating, it is easier than ever to lie about your age without feeling guilty. However, there are now Jewish dating sites that call you out on this infraction. SawYouAtSinai and its partner, JRetromatch, have now implemented an amazing new initiative for their sites. SawYouAtSinai was the first to launch and now members’ profiles can be seen sporting a pretty green check mark beside their age if it’s been verified as accurate through public records searches or receipt of proof of I.D.  According to the websites’ founder, Marc Goldmann, “Many JRetroMatch members have already been verified and they will soon be able to see a green check mark of their own”.

I can’t stress enough how incredible it is that a Jewish dating site has finally realized what is fundamental to any relationship: honesty. Finally, people do not have to assume that the age they are seeing may not be correct. Members are no longer penalized for telling the truth because of the few who lie. What you see is what you get. Isn’t that how it should be in dating?

*Izzy*

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