Virgins used to be a prized possession–were they not??? These days, it is so hard to find one, and yes as I have mentioned before I am a member of the V-Card Holders( a cool, obscure way for saying I never hit a home run, or am a virgin–yes–we do exist, even if we are an extinct breed.)
I think originally I was a virgin by fear–I was afraid that Murphy’s Law combined with G-d’s Wrath would be a terrible combo, and as many condoms and Birth Control Pills I used, I would get pregnant, and I would be a single mother, wailing on Ricki Lake, and pulling the hair of Laquisha, the chick that my ex(but we never married) was cheating on me with, when I was pregnant with our twins(freak accident along the lines of a badly written soap opera and Murphy’s Law), and had a baby with her, and paid alimony for that child, while I collected Medicaid and was living in a Trailer Park…
WOAH…LOL….Real Life…!!! (Yeesh…that was a frightening ending, all I needed was the Murphy’s Law…)Afterwards, I think I kept my Virginity because I felt that if I waited that long, why lose it, and why lose it with someone that could break my heart–and the break wold be that much worse, if the loss of that piece of tissue was associated with that guy.
None of my friends are virgins, and most guys don’t respect it–they tell me if I want a serious relationship–I should know, they want sex–and if it’s not at the beginning, it WILL happen, may as well do it already.
At the risk of sounding like the song, are we like animals, that just mate?
“I Would Appreciate Some Input!”
Without further ado, I bring you the song i know by heart because it’s so bad, its so gooood!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gigi, singing the words on top of her virginal lungs, and waiting for her input–come on–i shared…’tis only fair…