As a very young child, in a home full of adults (I was a miracle child–ha)my favorite show was Fame. I would dream of myself on stage, the spotlight on me, as I danced, acted, and sand–”Fame, I’m Gonna Live Forever. I’m Gonna learn how to fly high…People will see me and cry…REMEMBER MY NAME.”
The other day, I read an interview with an actress who felt when the time was ready to have a child, she would most probably adopt. I sometimes wonder how long this search for my husband-to-be…Goodness knows I have done everything to try to meet him…Yet–I am fighting my bio clock, the clock on the wall–as it ticks away my faith, and I dream of the chance of at least having one precious child in my lifetime…
The youngest niece I have looks a lot like me. She is close to two months old, with a head of hair, eyes gray that metamorphosed into blue(please stay that way)(nah, health is the most important.), and my red lips. When I held her, the first time, I cried from happinness…My niece–the daughter of the sibling I am closest to–it felt like she was a part of me.
My nieces and nephews love me. Their friends hate the fact that their aunts are old fashioned. When I am over for a visit, the friends flock to me, and ask about my life, my clothing, my accessories, and how I got this funny.
The irony is, many people know me. I achieved quite a modicum of fame without being a celebrity. I HAVE ACTED–I do it every day. Watch my smile carefully. Does it reach my eyes??? If not, look into my eyes. See the sadness.
My womb feels empty and I refuse to hear about freezing eggs…I am too young, or am I???
It is a common fallacy among human beings to believe, many times subconsciously, that we are immortal.
I know one day we all leave, and I hope it is to a better place.
What will I have left behind?
WHO WILL REMEMBER MY NAME?