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Jewish Singles and No Goodbyes…

After two nights ago’s Utopia, safe in someone’s arms, he wanted to bid me goodbye tonightm as he is going to another part of US and then back to Europe. I can’t say goodbye, and told him that, so he said that he won’t say the actual word. 

Why make me love him more right before he amputates? He was never a part of me to amputate, but I am so starved for love, I made him a part of me. I highly doubt it’s an emotional goodbye he would like to give me…Is it a good makeout session? Is that what it boils down to? I worked a ten hour day, transportaion was three hours, as the thunderstorms caused delays.

As I type, I am changing into my nightshirt. I am not staying made-up for him. He has been cruel to me, but I took him back. I would be a pathetic loser to have him come over–and he can’t come HERE as I live with the people that conceived me and they are light sleepers–noway.

If he wanted to hug me, hold me…I would just have a gut feeling…I know him well enough to know it’s not going to be that. I am not doing this. I would rather be alone. I am very attracted, and stimulated by him, as well as feel safe with him–but walking into his arms would be walking KNOWINGLY INTO AN ENEMY’S TRAP.

Trap=Part….To Part Or Be Trapped? Anagrams…Intriguing…

I would rather everyone take three steps back and explain to me why I never was loved properly.

Preparing to be numb again.

Don’t touch me. Don’t get close.

Gigi, Fenced in Safely

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