Last night, 22 year old and I had “The Talk”. Not about the facts of life, though I am pretty aloof around him, yet about how I am in a place in my life where I cannot support the both of us while he is in Graduate School. I have lived too long a life….I don’t have the strength to start again…
I am not looking for a billionaire who will have a black AmEx card(though I wouldn’t protest it), fly on lear jets, and give my fingers a hernia with the huge weighted bling he bedecks them with.
I just don’t wan’t to have to be afraid of where the next rent payment, utilities, etc… will come from….
I told him some of the details of my life…the rough stuff, a drop in the bucket really, and I looked down at my lap as I spoke because I had tiny tears in my eyes. He listened, and I looked at him, and he had tears in his eyes. He made a comment the other day about “feeling my pain”. Sad thing is–he is sincere. He then proceeded to give me a huge hug and a kiss.
He is a bit shorter than me too, which sounds minute and ludicrous in comparison to the rest that is working against me….
Gigi, Questioning…Always Questioning…