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Jewish Singles: Dumping

I’m really awful at breaking up with people.  I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  I feel it should just be quick and painless, like a band-aid.  Or maybe casual so they won’t notice.  I like to think maybe I can just slip it into conversation;

“Hey, how did you like that dinner?  Yea, I thought it was good too.  By the way, we should see other people.  I hear the desserts here are excellent.  You should come back and try them.  With someone else.  Did you watch the World Cup??”

I feel like if I do it casually and then change the subject fairly quickly they won’t notice anything about the relationship has changed.  I mean, sure we can’t kiss or hold hands anymore, but hey…I’m not that great at holding hands anyway.  I get sweaty palms.

Unfortunately people usually notice when I’ve broken up with them.  Sure, we talked about the World Cup for a good five minutes beforehand (He was rooting for Spain all along), but eventually he changed the subject back.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Nah, I think it’ll be fine.  You’ll move on, I’ll move on…Good times all around.”

So yes…I really suck at breaking up with people.  But hey, he wasn’t Jewish.  It was never meant to be.  Thank goodness now there’s a way I can hire someone to do it for me.

It’s called iDump4U.  Not only is it useful, but wildly entertaining.

I can actually hire someone to break up with people for me.  This is good because I don’t have to deal with it anymore, but bad because now I want to break up with everyone.

Even people I really like.

Even people I’m not actually dating.

I just want to break up with everyone (but stay on speaking terms of course.)

Or at least that’s what I told my Grandma, but she has jealousy issues so we’ll see.

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