I’m really awful at breaking up with people. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I feel it should just be quick and painless, like a band-aid. Or maybe casual so they won’t notice. I like to think maybe I can just slip it into conversation;
“Hey, how did you like that dinner? Yea, I thought it was good too. By the way, we should see other people. I hear the desserts here are excellent. You should come back and try them. With someone else. Did you watch the World Cup??”
I feel like if I do it casually and then change the subject fairly quickly they won’t notice anything about the relationship has changed. I mean, sure we can’t kiss or hold hands anymore, but hey…I’m not that great at holding hands anyway. I get sweaty palms.
Unfortunately people usually notice when I’ve broken up with them. Sure, we talked about the World Cup for a good five minutes beforehand (He was rooting for Spain all along), but eventually he changed the subject back.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea…”
“Nah, I think it’ll be fine. You’ll move on, I’ll move on…Good times all around.”
It’s called iDump4U. Not only is it useful, but wildly entertaining.
I can actually hire someone to break up with people for me. This is good because I don’t have to deal with it anymore, but bad because now I want to break up with everyone.
Even people I really like.
Even people I’m not actually dating.
I just want to break up with everyone (but stay on speaking terms of course.)
Or at least that’s what I told my Grandma, but she has jealousy issues so we’ll see.