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Jewish Singles–Reduced To Stalking?

Hello there, all of my fellow singletons! How are you all doing? I am completely Red-Bulled. (I have been out late with um…well, will tell you later.) So this week I was antsy. No good movies out, (Spiderman? Nyet. I will tell you a secret. Come closer to the computer screen, as I need to whisper this….IT’S FICTION!!!!!!!!!), I am not a meat person (not pregnant–Thank G-d, because then it would be an immaculate misconception, like Jesus; and not a vegetarian–meat always nauseated me, so no BBQs, and none of my friends wanted to paint pottery with me, so….off to the city we went….

AND IT WAS FLEET WEEK. G-D BLESS AMERICA, LAND OF THE TANNED, WHITE-UNIFORMED MALES, THAT ARE YOUNG ENOUGH TO HAVE EXITED MY WOMB. (Well that’s exaggerating it a tiny bit, but you know what I mean.) I was out with the guy I am supposedly dating, whom we will call M. for now, whom is 22–a few big fat years younger than me (will tell u more about him later), in Times Square. He didn’t realize it, but as he kept insisting we see Spiderman, The Movie (the comics weren’t around when he was a zygote), I steered him to walk with me verrry closely behind a group of Men In White. They turned the corner, I (we, I dragged M) did too. They slowed down, so did I/We. I had a fleeting thought that if We were arrested for this (notice that I make M a partner in a crime he didn’t know he was pseudo-committing, hypothetically), as stalking these 18, 19 yr olds is illegal–I would answer, and I believe this, in all sincerity–”I SERVE OTHERS THAT SERVE MY COUNTRY”–Gigi, waiting for her twenty five cent phone call at the Police Station.

Until next time, I remain dating a child.

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