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Jewish Singles: Women’s English Vs. Men’s English

 We are all aware that Martians and Venusians are as different as those planets some bloke wrote a book about and became a multi-millionaire overnight WITHOUT TAKING EVEN ONE ASTRONOMY CLASS. Lucky Dude.

 Men and women are so very different in EVERYTHING–forget the main body parts.(Fine, try to for two minutes please, and focus. It’s me! GIGI!) A college advisor once commented to a group of us, and I will put this in caps because it is so, so wise:

“PEOPLE BELIEVE OPPOSITES ATTRACT, THEREFORE, SOME GO INTO RELATIONSHIPS WITH SOMEONE SO VERY DIFFERENT THAN THEM, AND THE RATE OF FAILURE IS SO MUCH HIGHER. TRUST ME–HE’S A GUY AND YOU ARE A GIRL. THAT IS ENOUGH OF AN OPPOSITE.” Meaning, men and women DO think and act differently, as well as coming from different homes with different experiences-that’s different enough to work with. Try to find someone to compliment you, someone similar in goals and ideals and certain THINGS.( If he is a party animal, a real extrovert, loves being outside, and you are an introvert who is a morning person and are really not happy at parties–at night you like to curl up with a soft blanket and read the latest novel by Sue Miller–u are almost for sure bound for failure, or at the least, a lot of needless frustration.This of course was a more extreme ezample, but you understand the point.)

With re: to speech, men and women say things and really mean different things. I got this in an email from a friend and had a real laugh, as I have definitely been guilty of a few of the female ones.


1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you’re in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?


1. I am hungry = > I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let’s have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay

And finally…..

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.



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