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Jewish Singles: Long Distance

Long distance relationships suck.  There’s just no getting around it.

Always missing someone, craving someone, having an inappropriately close relationship with your phone.  And everywhere you go you want to tell them about it, and every conversation you have you wish was with them and it takes over your life.  Even moreso than a short distance relationship would, because when you’re with them time is always scarce and fleeting so you never want to hang out with anyone else, and when you’re NOT with them all you’re doing is trying to think of ways to be with them.

You’re not “in-the-moment,” you’re not living your life, you’re just wondering what Significant-Other is up to and when they’ll text.  You make sure you clear a large portion of your day so you can stare at your computer and Skype for 8 hours.  You start to suck at keeping in touch with anyone else, you’re just consumed by this suddenly all-encompassing relationship.

People say that starting a long-distance relationship in the beginning isn’t wise because you grow apart, but that’s not true.  I think it works in the opposite way.  You grow closer, because you’re forced to communicate more, express how you feel, spend more money, give up more sooner in the relationship.

In a local relationship you can just casually say, “Oh yea, I’ll come over later,” walk a few blocks, and that doesn’t say a lot.

But when you say, “Oh yea, I’ll come over later,” spend $200 bucks, and then hop a plane cross country….Well, that’s saying something.  You commit pretty fast when you’re in a long distance relationship.

Having said that, I feel bad for Nuns.  Nuns are in a perpetual long distance relationship.  They are in LOVE with this guy, this Jesus fellow, and they married him and devoted their life to him, and hang pictures of him on their walls.  They just wanna be good and be with him and chill in the eternal heavens, but instead of worrying about flight times and prices, they’re worrying about sins and blessings and “Did-I-wear-my-habit-today,” or “Will-he-still-love-me-if-I-forgot-to-pray-on-Monday.”

Jews also have a long distance relationship with God, but it’s an open relationship.  We still see other people, ya know, earthly beings and stuff.  We have an understanding that that’s okay.  That He comes first but it’s okay to get a little something on the side.  Our bashert.  That chick/dude he set us up with on top of Sinai.  We got like a group relationship going on.

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