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Jewish Singles-Yogurt Envy

Okay, so most of you are probably wondering why I am avoiding my personal life, and giving you some witty posts…DO I HAAAVE TO?

NO. I want to. You were there for me, and I have some things fermenting that may just turn out to be a fuzzy green layer of mold, or a container of peach flavor yogurt with LIVE AND ACTIVE CULTURES(at least they are getting action in there. I always wondered what they were doing in there. Dating? Discussing my blog? Mating?If that’s the case, those cultures are fast…They live in extended families with their great-great grandchildren cultures, lol–sorry, I hadda do that! It’s me! I’m back! Tangent is my middle name–well, one of em. The other one is being argued about as I type in the unnamed instutution where I reside=0) (HOME).

So back to situations where I am hesitant to share with you, for fear that I will end with a pile of mold, and end up crying to you, because I envisioned a home of a huge institution-sized yogurt with live and active cultures(peach)(fine, I am not that picky–if it’s plain, I can pick things up and add some flavor=0) , I am in a that situation.

(RE: Milk products–one of my original posts was re: my grandfather comparing me to spoiled milk/cheese as he explained that I was way past my expiration date, ergo, no good guys–good guys according to HIM–would want me.)

I am not a milk person. I have a little bit with my coffee, but don’t do the cereal thing…

 I really AM hesitant about talking about this present situation.

Never Say Never, and until tomorrow my dear friends.

Gigi, envious of the action going on in (peach) yogurt

Jewish Singles: Women’s English Vs. Men’s English

 We are all aware that Martians and Venusians are as different as those planets some bloke wrote a book about and became a multi-millionaire overnight WITHOUT TAKING EVEN ONE ASTRONOMY CLASS. Lucky Dude.

 Men and women are so very different in EVERYTHING–forget the main body parts.(Fine, try to for two minutes please, and focus. It’s me! GIGI!) A college advisor once commented to a group of us, and I will put this in caps because it is so, so wise:

“PEOPLE BELIEVE OPPOSITES ATTRACT, THEREFORE, SOME GO INTO RELATIONSHIPS WITH SOMEONE SO VERY DIFFERENT THAN THEM, AND THE RATE OF FAILURE IS SO MUCH HIGHER. TRUST ME–HE’S A GUY AND YOU ARE A GIRL. THAT IS ENOUGH OF AN OPPOSITE.” Meaning, men and women DO think and act differently, as well as coming from different homes with different experiences-that’s different enough to work with. Try to find someone to compliment you, someone similar in goals and ideals and certain THINGS.( If he is a party animal, a real extrovert, loves being outside, and you are an introvert who is a morning person and are really not happy at parties–at night you like to curl up with a soft blanket and read the latest novel by Sue Miller–u are almost for sure bound for failure, or at the least, a lot of needless frustration.This of course was a more extreme ezample, but you understand the point.)

With re: to speech, men and women say things and really mean different things. I got this in an email from a friend and had a real laugh, as I have definitely been guilty of a few of the female ones.

WOMEN’S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you’re in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN’S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = > I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let’s have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay

And finally…..

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

SMILE!!!

 Gigi

Jewish Singles–Who is YOUR Sugar Daddy?

Sorry, guys. Maybe a Sugar Mommy(???)(MILF???) can be custom ordered for you.

For all my chicas–today is your lucky day.

I remember watching “Annie” as a child, and wanting to marry Daddy Warbucks, and not only adopt Annie–but adopt the whole orphanage! I knew very few of the lyrics to “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow” and “It’s A Hard Knock Life”, but my oldest sister bought me the soundtrack for our RECORD PLAYER(Don’t snort. I can hear it until here, and I didn’t put my hearing aid in, you spring chickens.) and I was able to carry a tune.

Being the drama queen that I was(curb the shock), I would sing in front of the mirror, imagining my thousands of fans, (For those who got a verbal lashing from the boss today–yes, I was imagining YOU)using the hairbrush as my microphone, making up most of my own lyrics, being that I basically would know one line of chorus, but had the tune.

I always dreamed of adopting. I guess Angelina Jolie and I have something in common. Don’t get me wrong. I want to have my own children, but would love to adopt a child.

Admitting the Daddy Warbucks fantasy for sure has all you guys laughing and thinking I am money hungry. Actually, I date many poor guys, or guys who came from no money, and work hard to build themselves up. They are the onesI personally find, and you can disagree, that have  awesome character, wit, and are driven, as well as being understanding–because hey, it wasn’t always easy for them.

Money DOES help. Don’t get me wrong. I am not looking for a pauper, but comfortable, as worrying about paying utilities, rent, etc…would be tough. If I found the right guy, hey, we would work it out together.

Re: The Sugar Daddy fantasy (aka wanting Daddy Warbucks and the entire orphanage), I got the following in an email from DailyCandy, and thought you would enjoy.

Sugar Daddys To Go!!! Yes!!!

Gigi

 Who’s Your Sugar Daddy?

You might argue that you already take artful consumption to a new
level.

But now you can have your art and eat it, too. Candy sculptors
Fiona Ryan and Chris Grassi are expanding the Papabubble empire
beyond Barcelona, Tokyo, and Amsterdam to Nolita.

The house special? Edible masterpieces composed right before your
eyes.

The sweets shop stacks jars of homemade hard candies on the
shelves — fruity and spicy lozenges in a rainbow of colors and
designs. Papabubble is as much about performance as indulgence.
Like Picassos of the pastille, the staff prepares lengths of
cooked sugar before a rapt audience, mixing in essences (cinnamon,
lime, coconut) before spinning them into lollies and shapes (body
parts, concept cars, love notes).

All this couture candycraft is beckoning you.

Come to papa.

Papabubble, 380 Broome Street, between Mott and Mulberry Streets
(212-966-2599) or

http://www.dailycandy.com/t/click/7/F202887/716943/1

——————————————————————-

Jewish Singles–I DARE U TO LAUGH

yourblogsmall.jpg

A picture is worth a thousand words, eh?

 TOO BAD!!!!!!!!

I’M BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

GIGI, THE NUTJOB.

P.S. That’s one of the new Demotivator Tees from www.despair.com, one of my favorite sites. Check their half empty mug. (It actually has a line that SHOWS you when the cup is half empty.)

Jewish Singles, Dare I Peek?

I didn’t check your responses from yesterday because I want to stay, so I will be blissfully ignorant for another day or two, happy to be in my safe haven here with you.

I was thinking of sharing what had gone down the past few months, but thought of the AA way of thought–I am taking it day by day, and frankly, today is a new day, with new hopes, and new goals, and I won’t look back.

I do want to share a song with you–the lyrics are so beautiful and true… Sang by Martina McBride, my sister sent this to me today, and it was…perfect.

I thought of you–Hope this touched you and encouraged you, as well as had a healing effect as it did me.

Thank you for being a heartbeat away…I Thank God for ALL OF YOU…

Here is the link: I sent the lyrics because I wanted you to see the words–the message was the most important.

Wish I knew who wrote this….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xLSMAqcvrQ

At peace here…

Gigi

Jewish Singles– CAN YOU FORGIVE ME???

Hi. It’s me again. Your singleton blogger, Gigi.

I feel really bad about just…falling off your planet, so all of you whom are ready to “X” out this page–YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DO THAT—but first, please read this.

I realized that my “friends” were maybe one??? when I was given the awesome opportunity to write here, at JRetroMatch. It was a time of personal trials and tribulations, love and loss, dancing in clubs and weeping in the shower, Falling For Someone and Sinking in deeper as I self-sabotaged–AND YOU?

YOU WERE ALWAYS HERE. Issuing strength, empathy, words of wisdom, and acceptance.

I left because I was a coward and I was drowning and I came back because I need you and I hope you are still here, as I plan to be.

There is so much catching up to do…

It feels so good to be home.

Feeling weepy and safe,

Gigi