23 year old is playing the field…when I see him, I give him a wintry smile, and say “Hello,_____”, in the manner that Jerry Seinfeld addressed Newman, but with none of the mirth.
22 year old is totally strange, we broke up a while ago, it wasn’t until he went to an event at Fire Island with me, where a close friend made an intimate party, and invited him, mistakenly thinking he and I were together–when he was rude and weird, and she was embarrassed and creeped out, as was I….oh, and that was before he got sickeningly drunk…..
European is on his way back…I couldn’t meet him for certain reasons before his return to Europe, and it was meant to be, as I wont cheat on Josh, and Euro and I have crazy chemistry.
But Josh…I painted him wrong…Josh I care for so much…He cares for me…wants me to eat protein…exact opposite–doesn’t want me having days of no food…he is very special and i haven’t smiled this much….My only concern is his need for perfection and how extreme is it?
To Be Continued….
You know, sometimes I feel that I am beyond stupid. My heart lunges, leaps–every Olympian feat–u name it, I do it. And then, Ms Sensitivity cries and feels that there is a literal ache in her heart and she can show you where. CRY ME A RIVER. NOT.
I don’t learn from past mistakes. I am sick and tired from my C.S.A. (Chronic Selective Amnesia). I am so thrilled, bouncing into Blogville with vigor and vim(how i hate those two words…)–tell you all my glory, and two days later, I am all phlegmy, bawling into a paper towel (more absorbant than Kleenex) and swearing off relationships forever.
No, new guy that I proposed to didn’t leave me.
Josh just expects me to be PERFECT when I am doing all I can to be perfect…so so perfect….and yet he wants to help me so much tone up???? Okay, Im tall and thin, work out almost every day, eat right–but during a weekend movie, after pointing out a certain anorectic new actress that looked good because she had a boy’s body and chicken cutlets under her patent leather corset, kicking-bum, he whispers “She is so hot”–I am aware. You don’t need to tell me, hon. I’m not bad myself, though. A short while later, while playing with my upper arm, he felt non-Madonna-arms. Okaaaaaaay. so I have stringy arms that arent taut and tight and muscular. I don’t think muscular looks awesome on me. I would rather be tall, lanky, thin and work on my posture….He started on “If you work with weights, your potential would be so much higher….???”
WOAH. HOLD ON. Potential? I may not be Giselle Bundchen, but I look good, Thank Heavens. I work on it. I would be cool using weights and other accoutrements….
Again today, he brought it up…I let him say it and even told him I want him to help me(dont ask…I am a wuss…) at this….
He told me I could completely model if I really worked hard….Um I have modeled in a small capacity….
I am so sad, sitting here, and feeling like a loser…
Oh, he still likes me a lot….
BUT WHY IS HE MAKING ME NOT LIKE ME WHEN I WORKED SO HARD TO LIKE ME????
Is he worth it???Even with his heart of gold, and caring nature–he IS DOING this to help me…But what perfection is he looking for??? The anorexic skeletons of the past stare at me and the dust i fail to see…
Someone please help me here….
Gigi, very lost, sad, but feeling that this guy may be the one…but the one to help self destruct MORE?
I mock it, but did it happen to the Queen of Denial?
The Princess of Cynicism and Pessimism?
Talk to me…Don’t tell me it’s infatuation…
This is different…Or maybe it isn’t.
Gigi, needed a lifevest from s/o who has experienced the L word really quickly and was a firm non-believer.
After I knew him 24 hrs. Yep. Mmhmm.
Well, I must rewind really….
Friday I found out that he, and I will call him Josh, after trailing me around, is related to me, but not a blood relative.ra
There is an adorable child that i am an aunt to and he is an uncle to, and I uh….was dragging a cute stranger around, showing him pics of my niece in my digicam, and saying that she was cuter, but then she started looking like my brother’s mother in law.(O.M.G. I agree. That would be Josh’s mom.) He kept a straight face.
Saturday we spent the whole day together.
Sunday we spent the whole day together.
Please forgive me for not writing–these feelings are so weird and awesome and painful and crazy.
Oh, and I proposed to him on Saturday, and yesterday, as we were@ the amusement park. He knows I am not joking…
I am so screwed.
I fell in love.
What a scary mistake. It happened so fast.
Gigi, smiling an awful lot
Firstly, MEA MAXIMUM CULPA. My modem has been down, I have been pretty up, so many things have been happening, and I MISS U ALL SO MUCH…..
Wow. Okay. So. Today I had an interview in the city and I was dressed casual, but fitted, I looked hot, and I will see what will b between this job and another next week.
As I crossed Fifth Avenue, a tall handsome guy (hi 20′s? lo 30′s?), looked at me, smiled a killer KILLER smile(deep dimples in each cheeck, pronounced cleft in chin, eyes sparkle when he smiles, plastic tortioiseshell frames), wearing a cap and backpack, and said–in a statement–TOUCHING MY ARM–”Gigi.”
I looked at him, vaguely familiar, as he refused to tell me his name, dragged him with me on errands–Saks for bronzer, and a newstand for reading material.
Only I would drag around someone I didnt know, but knew I remembered the face(and loved the face, but commented on the sad eyes–that weirded him out–he had sad eyes.) with me to my errands, in NYC, who could be a stalker, killer, etc…
I’m an equal opportunity befriender.
To be continued, as I must flee!
Damn, I missed you guys!
Gigi, dreaming of millions of dimples….
G-d Bless You ALL–Because I am so sick of me. I live with me all the time. I wish I could take a break from me.
ARE WE HAVING FUN YET??????
ARE YOU HARD OF HEARING YET????
OK, Im sorry. Just making sure all my fans and other cooling devices are following….
I am listening to Harry Chapin’s “30,000 Bananas”–If any of you don’t know this song, it is a worthwhile listen–that is dependent on your taste in music and that wonderful fruit.
Today I am thankful I wasn’t the man Harry Chapin sang about, driving the truck holding the 30,ooo bananas, and very thankful that I don’t live in Scranton, PA for this (fictional) debacle…..Eau de Bananatude!
Sing along with my frog-like voice if you dare:
“You know the man who told me about it on the bus,
as it went up the hill out of Scranton, Pennsylvania,
he shrugged his shoulders, he shook his head,
and he said (and this is exactly what he said)
“Boy that sure must’ve been something.
Just imagine thirty thousand pounds of bananas.
Yes, there were thirty thousand pounds of mashed bananas.
Of bananas. Just bananas. Thirty thousand pounds.
of Bananas. not no driver now. Just bananas!”
Yes, we have no bananas,
We have no bananas today
(Spoken: And if that wasn’t enough)
Yes, we have no bananas,
Bananas in Scranton, PA.”
I just am trying to stay positive. No bawling over eggs or friends gone AWOHL–
IMAGINE RUSH HOUR AND 30, OOO BANANAS, all mashed and smelly from the sweltering NYC heat, all over the tracks of 6 Main Train Lines AND THE LIRR.
Ha–talk about SERIOUS traffic! Okay, that was wrong. I apologize.
I need some time to bond with Ben and Jerry.
Just lighten up and eat for the Hollywood SkeleStarlets. (I made up a new word!)
Gigi, in dire need of sleep, and normal nutrition.
P.S. If I was up for adoption, would you adopt me? I am not going to drop this. I think I have a lot to offer. Chunky Monkey is waiting, and two tres’ tres’ VIP males (Sir Ben, Master Jerry) along with them, await me….Until next time…(crisis, love, hate, numb, cool air, frigidity, wind chill, i am leaving before i make a bigger fool of myself. My pillow awaits me…)