Condo update: Nada to report ):I read this somewhere and it really struck a chord with me because, often times, I have a tough time just “letting go.”Enjoy!There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. Don’t try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person. It just means that their part in your story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over, so that you don’t keep trying to “raise the dead.” You’ve got to know when it’s dead. You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful. It’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever I’m meant to have, it will come to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go! If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you, and was never intended for your life, then you need to … Let it go! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains … Let it go! If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth … Let it go! If someone has angered you… Let it go! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge … Let it go! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction … Let it go! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents … Let it go! If you have a bad attitude … Let it go! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better … Let it go! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship … Let it go! If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves … Let it go! If you’re feeling depressed and stressed … Let it go! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. Let it go! Get right or get left. Think about it, and then … Let it go!
Condo update: Still waiting on loan approval. Grrrr… ):
I feel like writing about something that has always baffled me. And that something is the mystery of why guys from my past ALWAYS resurface. I don’t know if it’s just me or if this happens to everyone, but sometimes I feel like I’m wearing a huge sign that says “Hi, if you dated me, liked me, hurt me, or hooked up with me at ANY point in the past 10 years, PLEASE come sniffin’ around like a dog to see “how I am” or to “say hi” or my favorite one, “to TRY again.” I mean, things END for a reason, right? But I seem to be a magnet for the guys who always “pop up” at the most perfect moment. You know, that moment when you feel at peace, happy…when you’re looking ahead to your future, NOT backwards in the past. I understand we all get lonely and have our weak moments…the moments when we realize we made a mistake, that we let the right person go, etc. I just wish that it wouldn’t take losing the person to make that clear. And if you’re going to resurface and ask for another chance, PLEASE be ready to put your money where your mouth is! Right? Right! I also seem to be a magnet for the “all talk, no action guys.” To me, one of the biggest turn-ons is a man with FOLLOW-THROUGH. Too many flakes in this town.
Anyhoo, thanks for listening to my rant.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. Especially mine J
Till Next Time,
So, I’m in the process of buying my first condo. Very Stressful, yet, very exciting. It’s not something I ever thought I’d be doing on my own, but alas…..
So far, it’s been a pretty painless process, aside from dealing with my mortgage broker. He couldn’t be more unprofessional if he tried. The dude has zero bedside manner, barely returns phone calls and emails and is downright rude. Why have I stayed with him, you ask? Well, he claims he can get me this great loan, low interest rate etc. Plus, my father has done business with him before and wanted me to give him a chance. So, I agreed, but it hasn’t been easy. I should know by Tuesday if the loan was approved and if I can move forward in this loooong process. Fingers crossed!
Now a little bit about my adorable condo. It had a bunch of upgrades done, which include: hard wood floors, crown molding, recessed lighting, new paint job and a fireplace! But what I’m most excited about is the walk-in closet. For the past four years, I’ve had to make due with a closet the size of a phone booth. So, hey, I’m moving up in the world! The condo is move-in ready, so now I just need to get my loan approved and close escrow so I can move in. It’s still crazy to me that I’m 34 and buying my first condo on my own, rather than 34 and married with two kids. But, as I’m sure you will all agree, life usually doesn’t go the way we plan. For whatever reason, THIS is exactly where I’m supposed to be! J
Till Next Time,
I must share with you all a date that I had recently. We will call him “S” and I will start by saying “OY.”
This guy took the cake. We chatted on the phone for about a week, prior to our date. He had a very deep, sexy voice that I was immediately drawn to. He owned his own business and seemed to do well for himself. So, he asks if I’d like to hear him play his guitar. I found it a bit odd, but said ok. “S” proceeds to serenade me via telephone with his guitar. Don’t get me wrong, he was great, but he kept going and GOING. Like, he could have played forever had I not interjected with a “That’s great”, or “Very nice.” So, we planned to meet on a Saturday night. He picked the spot. It was a restaurant called Lincoln, a new, hip place. He greeted me at the bar with a nice hug. From that moment on we were joined at the hip. We had steak and drinks at the bar, sitting very close and flirting like crazy. I was thinking that it couldn’t get any better or feel any more comfortable. Conversation was flowing, compliments flying, and I was thrilled.
UNTIL…..RED FLAG ALERT….He proceeded to tell me that when he was 16, his father overdosed on his mother’s anti-depressants, killed her, and then killed himself. UM. I’m sorry….WHAT????!!!!!! Don’t get me wrong, it was tragic and my heart went out to the guy…but I’d say that was TMIFAFD (Too Much Info For a First Date.) Oh, it get’s better. “S” was married to a woman who tried to commit suicide numerous times and finally ended up in a mental institution. Now, by this point, I’m a bit tipsy. So, his revelations didn’t effect me as much as they would have had I been completely sober. He reassures me that he is “just fine” due to a lifetime of therapy. GOOD LORD. So, one would think I would be completely frightened by this point, but one apple martini later and I was ready to hit the town!
We went to a cool jazz club for coffee and dessert. I tried my best to focus on the good time I was having despite what I had heard earlier. After about an hour, we decided to call it a night. He drove me to my car. We chatted for a bit before saying goodbye. Well, he saved one more juicy story for the grand finale. I had the privilege of learning that he was de-virginized when he was 15 by his father’s married secretary. (I’m sure all you guys are saying “cool, what a stud!”) He gave me more sordid details that I just don’t have it in me to reveal. Needless to say, I was very surprised, yet intrigued, in a twisted sort of way. We had a nice kiss goodnight and that was it. He called me the next morning to say he had a great time. I was pretty impressed at the timely manner in which he called. Most of the men I had met from a certain well-known Jewish dating site were as flaky as could be. So, he scored a few points there. He asked me out again, and for some odd reason, I accepted. I guess it was the romantic in me, choosing to ignore the red flags, and proceed on. Ladies, we’ve all done that, right??
He picked me up on our second date. I got in the car to find him very different than he had been 2 days prior. He claimed to have a headache. But he was eerily quiet. We had dinner at Senor Fred. He was quiet most of the dinner, and stared at me in a very creepy way. Finally, I said, in what I thought was a cute, charming way…”Yes? What can I do for you?” (batting eyelashes.) Well, was he offended!! He chastised me for making a comment like that. I was completely dumbfounded. I explained that he was making me uncomfortable staring at me like that. My comment was a playful attempt to get him to STOP. He said he just liked looking at me. Well, needless to say, the rest of the night was a complete downer. He seemed very depressed and all around weird. I think we both knew that we wouldn’t be seeing each other again. I emailed him the following day to thank him for dinner, just to be polite. He wrote back saying, “You’re welcome. I enjoyed our time together.” So, we had one good date and one completely odd date. I guess it all worked out for the best. I mean, how many red flags can a girl handle, after all?? I’ve since learned to pay attention to the red flags and not let physical attraction overtake my better judgment. J
Till next time,
If you’ve ever done speed dating, hopefully this blog will strike a chord with you. I went with two of my friends a few weeks ago. First and last time. In theory, it’s a good concept—Get a bunch of (in this case) Jews in a room together, give them five minutes to chat, blow the whistle and move along to the next person. I mean, how painful can that be? Right? Wrong! I’m talkin’ paaaaiiiinnnnnFUL! Allow me to explain.
The advertised age range for men was 35-45 and women 30-40. All of the women seemed to follow the rules. Why couldn’t the men? Out of the 12 men who I met, at least four of them (1/3 for you math people) were OVER the maximum age of 45. One was actually 57!!! I’m sorry, but I didn’t come to this event to meet men old enough to be my father. Do people in that age range deserve the same chance at finding love? Of COURSE they do! Just not on my time…(I kid, I kid.) Well, not really…but you know what I mean.
The solution to this problem is an easy one. Check everyone’s I.D.’s! Right? I KNOW! So simple, and yet for some reason, it wasn’t part of the process. It's the easiest and most effective way to disqualify people who are out of the specified, ADVERTISED age range. In addition to the age issue, I had one guy who didn’t even TRY to hide the fact that he was staring down my top, one guy who seemed VERY confused about his sexuality and one guy who was so nervous and fidgety, he could barely utter a word.
My friends and I went into this with an open mind and no expectations. But never in our wildest dreams did we think we’d have the selection of men that we did. I realize that this is a moneymaking business, but it’s not OK that what the company advertised is not what was actually presented to us. Oh well, what can ya do? I think I’ll stick to meeting men on my own. Has anyone had a positive speed dating experience? If so, I’d love to hear about it!
If you believe that everything happens for a reason, raise your hand! If you had a web-cam, you’d see that I’m currently typing with my toes, as both my hands are raised high HIGH in the air! Ok, that was a little cheesy, I know. But the truth is that I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. We may not know why at the time and it might take a very LONG time for it all to make sense….but eventually, it will. I feel that things unfold as they are supposed to. I’m still trying to make sense of the past few years of my life, but little by little it’s coming together. When my 6-year relationship/engagement ended 4 years ago, I was left wondering “Why?” to sooo many things. Why did I give 6 years to someone? Why didn’t it work out? Why am I single again at 30 years old? But 4 years later, though I haven’t met Mr. Right, I no longer ask myself why. I gave 6 years to him because I loved him—plain and simple. It didn’t work out because, ultimately, he wasn’t the right man for me—plain and simple. I’m single at 34 because, although I’ve met some great men and have had some amazing experiences the past few years, it just wasn’t the right time for me to meet “HIM.” I still had my own “stuff” to learn and to do. And while I finally feel that I’m truly ready to meet him, I know that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to. And it feels so great to be so OK with that J
Till next time, Robin