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Jewish Singles: Taking the Words Out Of Romance

I really liked that no matter how hard Relationship Shoshana tried to be corny and romanticize things and do cute things, Jack would keep me grounded.

He was romantic, and sweet, but not sappy.  Never sappy.  And I needed that because in the long term, I hated sappy.  The mistake I made was that with every other guy I was with I’d be sappy and cutesy in the beginning.  It’s tempting to be cutesy in the beginning, you’re so infatuated and  you just want to let that take over.  So then, the guys would become sappy too.  They thought that’s what I wanted so they’d reciprocate, they’d get in the habit, and then eventually I’d stop and they’d keep going and I hated it.  I’d start to pull away and they’d get more and more sappy, profess their love more and more, trying to fix things, and I’d get bored and bored and bored and leave.

Jack was sweet, but not sappy.  He wouldn’t say ‘I miss you,’ he’d just sigh and say,

“You better hurry up and get over here.”

He wouldn’t say, “I’m thinking about you,” he’d text,

“Hey, what’s up?”

He wouldn’t say, “I love you,” he’d just passionately kiss me and say,

“Eh, you’re okay.”

…And strangely enough I much preferred it that way.

Every  guy I dated in the past was perfect on paper.  He was the nicest, the kindest, the smartest, the most considerate.  Always adoring, always sweet, and always always getting boring.  Jack is not perfect.  But he might just be perfect for me.

I’m a writer.  I work with words.  Everything I do is wordswordswords.  What I liked about Jack is that he wasn’t into words, he was into actions.  He did things, he showed emotions, he didn’t just talk about them.  He didn’t dilute feelings with words, he showed me by making me dinner, or helping me with work, or coming to visit when I was out of town.

We are opposites.  He says opposites are good for each other because you learn more from the other person; they help you grow.

And I’m growing.

I just hope I don’t grow into someone I don’t want to be.

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